Effects of Pornography on Marriage

For many people, sex and pornography are very sensitive subjects. Sex is a very private subject in general for many people.

In today’s culture porn is free everywhere and even commercialized and joked about on TV shows and family comedies as if it’s cute or funny.

Pornography is a very secretive topic for many, especially those who hide it from their spouse or partner either out of shame or knowing their partner would be hurt or leave the relationship if found out. Pornography can ruin marriages and intimate trusting relationships, and it can break up families. Pornography can cause depression in both the viewer and the person that finds out their spouse has been using porn.

Women married to men with a pornography addiction report feelings of deep betrayal, mistrust that can never be regained, anger and severe self worth issues once the addiction is discovered. Pornographic use can lead to infidelity and even divorce.

Extensive research has been done on the effects of pornography on a person emotionally and physically. It has been discovered that many people’s first exposure to pornography was very young at 4 or 5 years old. In years past, many children discovered pornography through finding their dad’s magazine collection.

One of my daughters first exposure to sex was when she discovered a porn magazine at a neighbors house when she was very young (about 6 or 7 years old). She was traumatized and crying and had a difficult time talking about it. She was frightened and disgusted with the images she saw. She asked if the images she saw was what sex was. When she described what she saw, I explained to her what healthy sex was between consenting partners. I purchased the book “Where Did I Come From” and we read the book together. She asked a few very open questions and was satisfied with our conversation. This led to an open communication between my daughter and I for future difficult conversations.

One Professional Opinion

A few years ago, I had an opportunity to talk with a psychologist who specialized in family counseling and they revealed to me that in over 20 years in practice had they ever found a situation where pornography benefited a marriage positively and in most cases even with therapy, when the pornography addiction was discovered, the marriage ended in divorce.

How Can Pornography Affect Women Who Discover Their Husband Using Porn?

Can the use of pornography cause PTSD symptoms?

I know someone very close to me who discovered her husbands pornography use after returning home unexpectedly one day. She wondered why their sex life had been virtually extinct. He never seemed very physically affectionate or interested in her sexually which made her feel unwanted and incomplete as a woman in her marriage. She recalled they had only been intimate maybe twice in the past year or so, one of those times had been that very morning. She came home from an appointment and walked in on him watching pornography. The horror she felt struck her powerfully and unexpectedly. She began to shake and cry and could not speak. She felt her legs weaken beneath her and felt as if time stood still. Admitting that is was one of the most severe traumas she ever experienced, she recounted it as if it were yesterday, how she felt such betrayal as if she just walked in on him having an extra marital affair right before her eyes with multiple women all at once. Since sexual intimacy was infrequent between them (although much desired more frequently) she immediately felt that she was not good enough as a woman, and that he was now using the porn to wash the memory of their love making that morning out of his mind, as if porn had something better to offer.

As the days and weeks and months went by, she began to silently question her identity, her marriage, her sexuality, her womanhood and femininity. She felt disgusting in her own skin. She felt worthless. She began questioning everything including the trust she had in her husband and their marriage. What else had he been hiding from her? What else had he lied about? She wondered what other secrets there might be. She quickly fell into a deep dark depression crying every day alone where no one else could see her and trying to put on a happy face for others to see. She found it difficult to just get out of bed and function normally. She said she felt completely alone and embarrassed that this had happened. She felt inadequate and completely undesirable as a woman. She felt she was no competition for the porn he watched. She discovered that there were support groups for this but was too embarrassed to ask for help anyway. She thought there was something wrong with her. She didn’t realize other women felt the same way when they discovered their husband or boyfriend had been secretly using pornography. It took her years to recover on her own through self healing to discover her own self worth and discover self love and in turn made a conscious choice to do everything in her power to heal the relationship with her husband. She revealed at some point she decided this would not break her, she was worth more and that after researching the affects that porn normally has on a marriage, she made a decision that she would not be a statistic, and that she would make every attempt to heal herself and her marriage. Even though it was difficult to talk about, she openly admitted to her husband it was still a deal breaker for her as it always had been which he knew from the beginning. She chose to make every attempt to rebuild herself and work on rebuilding her marriage to something better than it ever was before despite the odds.

She spent the better part of 5-6 years with in-depth self healing and realized her own self worth and discovered a self love that she did not know was possible. She opened her eyes to other relationship issues that she had once been avoiding or trying to heal on her own without the support of her husband to fully heal the relationship. Not only did she realize negative behavior which included severe verbal abuse at times to both herself and children, but she also recognized the trust could not be restored since he knowingly and selfishly broke the vow he had made to her and had broken her trust in many other ways knowing full well it was one of only very a few deal breakers in their marriage, and so she chose to leave the relationship in a much more empowered and healthy manner.

What happens when you watch pornography?

It has been discovered that pornography hijacks the pleasure center of your brain and in turn the more you watch, the more difficult it is to quit. It is a quick addiction that takes over your life. When you watch porn, it floods your neuro-network with dopamine. And, the more you watch, the more difficult it is to find joy and pleasure in other activities outside of pornography. It is more difficult to find pleasure in “normal” sex within a monogamous relationship. In turn, this can create less intimacy or sex with your partner as you opt for pornography in order to satisfy you instead of intimacy between you and your partner. Porn provides quick satisfaction vs. taking the time to be with another person and connect physically and emotionally.

Another Testimonial of the Affects of Pornography on a Relationship

I can remember years ago, I knew a young girl, barely 20 years old, who’s boyfriend began using pornography, and she would come in to work and confide in me about the things he asked her to do. He was her first sexual partner. She shared that he could not have normal sex any more, and that he could not climax without the use of pornography or some sort of rough sex with her or strange situation or scenario. At times he would request her to do something dangerous or harmful in order to have sex and in order for him to be aroused and climax during sex with her present.

How Pornography Portrays Sex

In many cases it has been found that pornography depicts sex as mainly one sided in the man’s favor. Usually it is rough or forceful in some way. The woman is usually in a subservient position physically or emotionally. And, it depicts that a man being rough during sex is pleasurable to women. In many cases the woman is shown moaning in pleasure or just laying there as the man is being pleasured or having rough sex with her. It shows that men basically have to do nothing to pleasure a woman other than to show up. Just the sight of him is erotic and arousing and practically brings her to orgasm, which for most women is not normally the case.

Pornography does nothing to show the intimacy between people emotionally or physically. It is robotic and un-emotional. This is in many cases children’s first exposure to what sex is. And, in most cases is frightening. And, they begin to imagine their parents this way or other adults they know. I can only imagine them worrying about growing up and having to experience sex in such fear. It is horrible.

With such free porn everywhere you turn, is it any wonder that many men don’t know how to pleasure a woman which begins with an emotional connection or spiritual connection? Is it any wonder that men get frustrated taking time for intimacy and upset if a woman does not climax within minutes of initiating sex? Is it any wonder that women feel inferior or worthless in the bedroom and outside the bedroom with the expectancy to perform like porn stars? Is it any wonder many women don’t even expect sex to be pleasurable because they have mates that just assume their presence causes them to orgasm repeatedly? Is it any wonder many women go through life without orgasm because they don’t know any better or wonder what is wrong with them because they don’t enjoy sex like a porn star or perform like a porn star on the screen? I have a feeling there are many women who would like to be sensual or erotic with their partner or husband however feel there is no sense in trying. Either they feel unworthy due to the competition of what porn exhibits as normal that their spouse already has been exposed to and expects, or they feel unworthy and ashamed in their body since women in porn don’t have stretch marks or weight gain due to pregnancy but instead portray body perfection and kitten like playfulness and sexiness and a willingness to please at any cost including pain.

How are we as a society suppose to have healthy, enjoyable sexual intimacy or healthy sexual relationships with our partner when this is our introduction to sex as the norm? And there is no real intimacy of any kind and becomes an addiction and a complete misunderstanding of healthy sex before real human sexual contact ever happens?

No wonder sex is taboo or disgusting to many. Sex in a committed relationship should be something beautiful and meaningful with emotional, spiritual and physical connection and trust. Sex should be pleasurable for both men and women. Sex should be consensual. Sex should not be embarrassing or scary. Sex between lovers should be emotionally meaningful, sensual and erotic and bring you closer together. Sex should not hurt anyone emotionally or physically nor feel dirty or shameful.

I appreciate this TEDx video about porn and it’s effects:

Blessings of Optimal Health & Peace,
Yvette, Comprehensive Remote Energy Medicine Practitioner, Self Love Coach
https://truehealingsource.com


Yvette lives boldly from her Heart allowing Source Energy to guide her toward living her best life inJoy. She shares information as a coach about law of attraction and spiritual consciousness, and leads by example as a positive energy & authentic living guide and is certified in multiple energy healing methods and is also a creative artist. Yvette has not only used these tools to profoundly self heal many areas of her life, but has also worked with others in discovering self love through reconnection with Source Energy, increased appreciation and more inner peace and live more authentically and empowered to experience their best life.

*PLEASE NOTE: I am not a licensed healthcare provider, counselor or therapist. I offer my services as a self-help educator and coach to natural wellness and positive living guide from my own personal experience and coaching others to betterment. I do not diagnose or treat illness, disease, or psychological problems. eCoaching Sessions and energy healing are not a substitute for medical advice, therapy or other counseling from a medical professional. True Healing Source offers an alternative method that is considered complimentary to other healing methods and can been used to enhance other traditional healing methods. If you are experiencing a significant issue, are in distress or significant pain, please connect with the appropriate professional service such as a licensed doctor. By choosing this eCoaching Service, you agree to be 100% fully responsible for your health and well-being physically and emotionally. You release all responsibility and liability from True Healing Source and it’s affiliates. You take 100% full responsibility for you self-healing and health.

How to Heal Unworthiness and Feel Self Love, Confidence & Empowerment

How Much is Your SELF WORTH & EMPOWERMENT Worth?

Do you feel unworthy going for that promotion or asking for more money?
Do you wake up each day feeling afraid of Life?
Do you sabotage every relationship you are in?
Do you feel ashamed of your body when you look in the mirror day after day?
Do you hate your body?
Do you compare yourself to other women?
Do you wonder why you are here?
Are you afraid to set boundaries?
Are you constantly worried about what others think of you or what you do?

I HAVE BEEN THERE & I can help YOU!

Discover YOUR BLOCKS to fully loving yourself and stepping into your authentic self with empowerment and consciously creating your BEST LIFE!

I can help you identify and release your blocks to living with more Love, self appreciation, intimacy, purpose, abundance, Joy, inner peace and empowerment!

CONSISTENCY IS KEY!

That’s why I offer this PERSONALIZED SELF LOVE & CONFIDENCE EMPOWERMENT eCoaching PROGRAM and is only for those who are COMMITTED to self healing and letting go of feeling like the World is against you!

Visit here to purchase printable Law of Attraction Affirmation Card Decks, Printable Self Love Affirmation Card Decks and Printable Body Love Affirmation Card Decks.


https://truehealingsource.com to apply for our PERSONALIZED SELF LOVE & CONFIDENCE EMPOWERMENT eCoaching PROGRAM and discover YOUR BLOCKS to manifesting your BEST LIFE.

*PLEASE NOTE: I am not a licensed healthcare provider, counselor or therapist. I offer my services as a self-help educator and coach to natural wellness and positive living guide. I do not diagnose or treat illness, disease, or psychological problems. eCoaching Sessions and energy healing are not a substitute for medical advice, therapy or other counseling from a medical professional. True Healing Source offers an alternative method that is considered complimentary to other healing methods and can been used to enhance other traditional healing methods. If you are experiencing a significant issue, are in distress or significant pain, please connect with the appropriate professional service such as a licensed doctor. By choosing this eCoaching Service, you agree to be 100% fully responsible for your health and well-being physically and emotionally. You release all responsibility and liability from True Healing Source and it’s affiliates. You take 100% full responsibility for you self-healing and health.

How Important is Self Love, Self Appreciation and Body Love?

For most of my life I lived in the darkness of feeling self hatred, body shame and deep depression.

I wasn’t sure why I was alive. And it took me on a massive journey into self love and body appreciation through different forms of powerful energy healing, spirituality & consciousness, Meditation, law of attraction and self healing to discover some of the most powerful and quickest tools to clear unworthiness and self hatred.

It’s not just one thing that will magically heal you overnight. It’s a combination, an openness and a willingness to connect with your Divine Energy and experience yourself from the perspective of Source Energy.

It’s a journey of the mind, body and spirit. It’s a daily reprogramming of your consciousness, your neurology and your physiology to move into the energy of self love in a way that enables you to live it consistently.

I’m here to share these tools I have to help you reconnect with your authentic self and align with more self love, self appreciation and Joy than you ever thought possible.

As I began doing this work with others too, I discovered this is the root in shifting everything else in your life.

As a result, I created a powerful 12 week Self Love Intensive journey into healing issues with self worth, body hatred and shame while transforming you into massive self love, self appreciation and worthiness.

I invite you to join me for this powerful 12 Week Self Love Intensive healing journey here.

See you there 🥰
Blessings of Optimal Health and Peace,
Yvette (Self Love Coach, Guide to Authentic Living and Transformational Comprehensive Energy Healer)


Yvette is a Comprehensive Energy Healer, Self Love Coach and Guide to Authentic living. Her passion is helping women experience life from a place of power, self love and authenticity so they can move through all stages of life with ease, grace and self appreciation in who they are in this physical body.

When she is not working with clients one on one she spends her time meditating or reading inspirational books or blogging about self Love and empowerment, self healing, the Law of Attraction or holistic health. Or, she can be found in her home studio creating beautiful Spiritual Goddess jewelry.

When Did You Decide that You are Not Good Enough?

Throughout our life, there are plenty of opportunities to receive both positive and negative information and feedback about our self worth, or how we should feel about ourselves that shapes our life and belief system. This can come in the form of physical (some form of abuse or trauma) or non-physical (verbal) programming. Some of these beliefs that you pick up are blocks to you living life fully with the Love you deserve. These beliefs could be blocking you from receiving the abundance and prosperity you desire and the health you desire for you body and emotions.

Authority figures especially have an influence on what we believe about basically everything. And, our programming from before the age of about 5 or 7 years old, is very profound on the way we feel about ourselves, life in general and how the World works.

Sometimes there are repeated verbal experiences such as someone telling you that you will amount to nothing, or that you are no good at something, or that life is really hard and so forth. Other times there is something we might watch on TV with repeated patterns or even one specific incident that really has an impact on us that shapes our view of ourselves and our life to be. Other times there is physical abuse or trauma that ingrains negative beliefs about ourselves into our consciousness. It might even be something we witness of a loved one being abused, battered, betrayed or spoken to in a certain way. And, then we program ourselves to believe this is the way the World works, the way relationships are meant to be, etc.

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I remember an example of a man’s story of how when he was a little boy, he found a specific lady on TV beautiful. And, his thought was something like, “no one that beautiful would ever want someone like me.” He found later on in life that this thought shaped his life in many ways.

Can you imagine how this one thought could shape your life and block you from happiness, Love, abundance and more? It could affect relationships that you create and manifest. It could create struggle and block you from keeping and finding true Love. It could create money shortage and blocks to receiving any form of abundance, if you believe that no one that beautiful or attractive would want you, then why would they want anything you are selling, offering, etc. This is a self judgement first of all, about what YOU think is beautiful or attractive. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This is true for judgement against anyone of any race, society, gender, orientation, etc. I invite you to think about that for a moment.

Even as a man, this judgement could be created around other men that you are jealous of, think are more attractive than you are, more powerful, smarter, successful or whatever. You will energetically repel anyone that you find more attractive for Love, money, support or anything in your life.

For women, the same thing…you could have a judgement about what being a beautiful woman is. Physically, emotionally, etc. And, if you have negative feelings or jealousy, you will repel these people from being anything positive for you in your life, customers, clients, friends, Lovers, etc. And, you will sabotage it every time, because you will feel unworthy in comparison.

Can you see how just one thought can create havoc in so many areas of your life that may not be recognized?

Do any of these statements resonate with you?

  • I am not good enough
  • I am not worthy
  • I am always wrong
  • I can’t have what I want
  • I am stupid, not smart enough
  • I am not worthy of love or affection
  • I am ugly, unattractive, gross, fat, etc.
  • I am weak, unhealthy, etc.
  • I am a victim
  • I am not supported
  • I am poor
  • It’s not about me / I am not important
  • I have to give it all away in order to receive Love and affection
  • If I don’t give it all away, others will abandon and reject me
  • I don’t deserve nice things
  • I don’t deserve to be happy
  • I deserve to be punished
  • I don’t deserve to be loved
  • I don’t deserve to be healthy
  • I don’t deserve to be recognized or get attention
  • I am not meant to be rich or wealthy or successful
  • I am not meant to be healthy or attractive
  • I am not meant to have what I want
  • Others can have “it”, but not me
  • I am powerless
  • No one Loves me, cares about me, wants me, etc.
  • Everyone else get’s what they want
  • Everyone else is better than me
  • Everyone else is better looking than me, healthier, richer, etc

When did you decide any of these beliefs? Sometimes they are conscious beliefs and sometimes they are unconscious beliefs hidden from your awareness.

These beliefs are not in alignment with your True Authentic Self (TAS), your higher self, spirit or God Source. These beliefs are false beliefs created by human and block you from receiving your true abundance and prosperity in all ways. These beliefs block you from receiving the full Love and happiness that you deserve.

The truth is that you are meant to shine, you are meant to be loved, you are meant to prosper, you are meant to have everything that you desire. However, you have to be in alignment energetically and in your beliefs system to receive these things. Otherwise, they will allude you and you will struggle to receive these blessings.

Find out more @ https://truehealingsource.com

I can help you uncover your hidden beliefs about yourself, others, the World, God/Universe and more to help you begin healing and finding true happiness, prosperity and the Love that you deserve. Together we can discover what the beliefs are and when you took in these beliefs that programmed your life to be what it is today and unblock you from receiving Love, abundance and happiness. We can uncover conscious and unconscious intentions and other blocks to healing in order to fully receive everything you are meant to receive as a child of the All Loving Universe.

Contact me today to begin your self healing toward more Inner Peace & Harmony.

truesourceheals@gmail.com
928.235.4464

DISCLAIMER: Yvette is not a licensed therapist or doctor. Energy healing is not intended as diagnosis, prescription, or treatment for any disease, physical or mental. It is also not intended as a substitute for regular medical care.

Hold Harmless – by using these methods, you agree to be 100% solely responsible for your health & wellness, the health of your family, and animals and hold Yvette 100% free of responsibility or harm. Use of Energy healing and other alternative healing methods mentioned above, and bio-energetic muscle testing has never been found to cause harm to anyone.

NOTE: There are many choices for you to use in your self healing journey that vary widely in cost from free information on the internet, to similar methods of practice that range in cost from $400 to over $2000 per hour. I offer a fee based, comprehensive, alternative approach at a very reasonable cost, an alternative service that is a choice not a necessity. It is not covered by insurance. (For my current fee schedule, please visit “Packages & Pricing” above). Bear in mind that it is often more rapid than a conventional approach and therefore may be more cost effective in the long run.

Energy Healing & Types of Trauma

There are 3 main categories that a trauma might fall into:

  1. Acute trauma results from a single incident.
  2. Chronic trauma is repeated and prolonged such as domestic violence or abuse.
  3. Complex trauma is exposure to varied and multiple traumatic events, often of an invasive, interpersonal nature.

It is important to remember that any type of trauma can occur to humans or animals.

Acute Trauma

Acute Trauma normally results from a single incident such as death, robbery/mugging, an accident, natural disaster, a specific sexual assault, car accident, serious injury (dog bite), surgery trauma, witnessing violent event, or experiencing something that threatens a persons emotional or physical safety. It can even be a portrayed thought about an event in the future.

Experiencing Acute Trauma can leave one with feeling of intense fear, horror, or helplessness. This can be considered a form of PTSD, and is referred to as Acute Stress Disorder (ASD).

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New Clients Only – No session work will be completed during FREE Consultation

A person who has experienced acute trauma may display other signs + symptoms after the event such as:

  • Panic or extreme anxiety
  • Depression
  • Confusion or irritation
  • Dissociation/feeling disconnected from self + surroundings
  • Interrupted sleep patterns
  • Suspicious behavior
  • Lack of self-care
  • Loss of focus/production at work or school

Chronic Trauma

Chronic Trauma normally results from repeated incidence of trauma, whether physical or emotional such as domestic violence, sexual trauma, , bullying, serious illness (ex: cancer or other long lasting disease), etc.

PTSD is normally present and manifests symptoms in behavior & thought patterns which can be long term if not addressed.

As with Acute trauma, the resulting symptoms can be the same and additional symptoms may occur.

Complex Trauma

Complex trauma can be present with some similar issues as Chronic Trauma and can result from scenarios such as war trauma (refugee/terrorism, soldiers continually being deployed to war zones ), domestic violence including severe physical + emotional abuse such as sexual assault, physical abuse and verbal abuse.

One source describes Complex Trauma as repetitive, prolonged and cumulative and in many cases involving an interpersonal relationship involving direct harm, exploitation, and maltreatment including neglect, abandonment, or antipathy. Complex Trauma can occur at any age from childhood to senior. In many cases it can occur for a person who is disempowered such as child, a person with dependence issues, someone with a disability or a specific age.

As with Acute trauma, the resulting symptoms can be the same and additional symptoms may occur.

In most cases Complex Trauma results in PTSD symptoms and repeated abusive situations. In my experience, identifying and releasing root cause issues can be very beneficial in complete healing and avoiding future abusive scenarios.

Any kind of trauma can have long term effects (PTSD) and each individual is different in the way they react. Sometimes a trauma is hidden in order to protect a person and there is no “conscious” memory. Sometimes the memory can become conscious later in life with a specific trigger and in some cases never consciously remembered. In any case, it does not make the trauma less severe or have less impact on a person/animals life. If you have experienced a severe trauma and are experiencing severe side effects such as contemplating suicide, I encourage you to seek medical assistance immediately.

My personal experience with childhood sexual trauma compounded by severe second hand PTSD reveals this profoundly. It can affect your life without consciously recognizing why you react the way you do to certain stimuli or triggers. You may have an uneasy “feeling” about something or someone and you just don’t know why. You might witness something on TV and you have a severe reaction to it compared to others. You might even just have a feeling that something “happened” to you but you can’t quite put your finger on it. This was my experience. Until I consciously had a flashback and was able to put all the pieces together and finally begin self healing the specifics of the events.

The amazing benefit of the method of Comprehensive Energy Healing I personally use in my life and in coaching others, is that you don’t have to repeatedly “relive” the trauma in order to release it for self healing.

I have worked with other women who were too embarrassed or upset to talk about the sexual trauma they experienced, and the self healing relief was amazing.

In my own experience, certain Chronic/Complex traumas can result in many lasting side effects in addition to the ones described above. There can also be serious self worth issues, self abusive behavior, self loathing, self hatred, severe depression, OCD behavior, addiction (alcohol, drugs, sex, food, etc.), nervous tics, severe need to be in control at all times, lack of financial income, not taking care of self, denial, fear of leaving the house & fear of large crowds, need to be in a a small safe place or room, unexplained and excessive anger & rage patterns, fear of loud noise or sudden movement, fear of facing away from doors (must sit against the wall in order to have full view of surroundings), fear of being approached from behind, severe reaction to certain situations that can’t be justified or explained (others react much less harshly) and more, being jumpy or erratic and so much more.

Experiencing trauma can be a very serious issue and should not be treated lightly. If you or someone you know has experienced ANY kind of trauma, especially something that is life altering, I encourage you to seek help.

Be sure to visit https://truehealingsource.com to find out more about our PERSONALIZED SELF LOVE & CONFIDENCE EMPOWERMENT eCoaching PROGRAM & while you are there, click on the “self help” tab for additional FREE self help resources including FREE meridian tapping codes

NOTE: This post is shared from my personal experience in self healing my own deep (repeated) personal traumas with Comprehensive Energy Healing (energy medicine). You must choose what is beneficial for you in healing your personal trauma whether that is a traditional source or alternative source.

Yvette is not a licensed therapist or doctor. Energy healing is not intended as diagnosis, prescription, or treatment for any disease, physical or mental. It is also not intended as a substitute for regular medical care.

Hold Harmless – by using these methods, you agree to be 100% solely responsible for your health & wellness, the health of your family, and animals and hold Yvette 100% free of responsibility or harm. Use of Energy healing and other alternative healing methods mentioned above, and bio-energetic muscle testing has never been found to cause harm to anyone.